Before I head further into 2009 and beyond let me backtrack momentarily. I was born May 9th 1979, to Scott and Dianne Elmer (a stay at home mom) and they named me Adrianne Mae Elmer. I am the oldest of 8 children. I had my fair share of jobs before having children of my own but my absolute favorite was as a nanny to 4 beautiful, wonderful little girls. When I was 21 years old my baby brother was born 7 weeks premature, he is now 8 years old and perfectly healthy. During the time that he was in the NICU I took over helping with my 5 other brothers who were 19, 16, 13, 10 & 5 and my 1 sister who was 17 so both of my parents would be free to stay with Chandler until he came home from the hospital which happened after only 8 days. My mom nurtured in me a love for children that I was born with.
When I was 5 years old and had my tonsils removed my mom spent several days before hand sewing nightgowns and robes for me so that I would be more comfortable, in my own clothes, during my hospital stay. When I turned 9 my parents made a big deal out of my golden birthday (turning 9 years old on the 9th of May). I got a special dress and flowers from my dad. My mom helped us plan Cabbage Patch doll birthday parties, took us strawberry picking, to the beach, roller skating, and so many other wonderful memories!
When I was 22 years old I married the best guy ever and my mom helped me plan my dream wedding while keeping us on a budget. My oldest son, Ethan, was born September 29th, 2002 when I was 23 years old. My mom was there for most of my ridiculously long labor. My children have all been born at home with a fantastic midwife. My 2nd son, Peter, was born November 1st, 2004 when I was 25 and my mom was there again. November 24th, 2006 son #3, Cole, was born and my mom was there once again despite the fact that she was in the middle of her own battle with breast cancer. I was 27.
May 7th, 2007 and just 2 days before my 28 birthday my mom passed away. At a traumatic, heart wrenching time of life such as that priorities start to take on a whole new meaning. I began to think about my children, my husband, my father, brothers, sister, grandmother and family in a whole new light. My 3rd son was just 5 months old when I lost my mom. At first every single breath was literally painful without her.
September 2007 my brother married his sweetheart and my tears flowed freely in a mix of happy tears because I love my brother and he was marrying a fantastic woman and sad tears since my mom was missing from the pictures and the day. The first Christmas without her was very difficult as were all the first holidays and every holiday since. In March of 2008 I found out that I was expecting again which began a whole new onslaught of emotions. In July we found out that it would be a baby girl. I couldn't wait for Lilly to arrive but also couldn't help wondering how I would handle giving birth without my mom physically present. December 24th, 2008 Lillyanne Alice Lola Melby was born. My mom was NOT present at least not physically. My emotions were indescribable. Having a daughter of my own completed the circle yet without my mom being here. The birth of Lilly got my mind racing, thinking about a mother's love and how AND why it's so important to each individual. My conclusion is how my mom knew me, how mother's KNOW their children! Your mom knows where you came from, where you have been, where are you currently at and what makes you, YOU..."KNOWING YOU"! Quite often when I talked to my mom I didn't have to finish my sentence because she knew what I meant or when I was telling a story I didn't have to stop and backtrack because she already knew the history. Nobody knows me better than her. My mom who gave birth to me, nurtured my dreams and was present for the birth of 3 of my children was all of a sudden gone and no longer there to share so easily with.
Nobody knows you like your mom does! This belief has fueled even more of a fire in me to KNOW my children, to not allow temporary things (like a messy house or money being tight) to come between quality time spent with them.
Each day I have with my children is memorable, special and I want it to be remembered. I miss my mom SO, SO much. Words cannot describe it and that has opened a hole in my heart that will never completely heal but has also allowed me to become a better mom over the last 2 years.
Take a moment today, don't waste it, kiss each of your children and tell them how much you love them. Then call your mom thank her for knowing you and tell her you love her. God only knows how hard it is when it's gone.
My mom nurtured my love for children, I grew up wanting 12. The importance of family is not wasted on me and that is where my passion for my children and husband and being home with them comes from.
I am determined to pass on the legacy of "Knowing You" to my children and am moving forward from there.
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